Once upon a time I was born in 1980. And everything was supposed to be Christianity and Obedience and Ethical. But my mum was not… educated. Neither was my Dad. And when I was 4, the religion they told me was good and perfect and pure, wasn’t. And I could see that the things they told me weren’t true. I was curious about the truth and so I started to read and study, but books were banned unless they praised god.
So I found two books that I loved the most: Pilgrim’s Progress and the Bible. By the time I was 8, I decided to just write the stories I wanted to read because there were no other books.
One day, my Dad brought home an Encyclopedia set because it was free and they were popular and trendy to have back then. And I read the Encyclopedia Set from cover to cover over and over again from 1988 to 1999… Because this is what I loved most of all. Learning and Reading.
My favorite subjects were Music, Physics, Philosophy, Mythology, Architecture, The Roman Empire, The Great Books, Education and Learning, and Logic.
I learned real early on that reading allowed me to escape a lot of the bad things around me. And I realized that Education gave me the skill to problem solve and “outsmart” the people who hurt me. Education kept me safer. So I became obsessed with learning, determined to keep me safe.
By the time I was 12, I had conducted a study on cats and cat behavior. I had 5 generations of cats (over 60 cats) to study, and I was able to track the behavior and the long term, generational impact that trauma and abuse had on mammals. I also studied Freud and his Dream Theory that year to try and stop my nightmares.
At 15, I realized that Education is what would save me and get me out of my abusive situations. So I became fixated on education and study. I also believed that the US Government was not qualified to teach me because I had researched their… results based on the writings of many other people and neuroscientists, and I didn’t trust the Government’s Educational qualifications. I decided that Plato was the best to teach me and, in the Encyclopedia set, I found Plato’s Curriculum for his University, so I followed that instead.
I was also studying Music and Music Theory at that time and I was working my way through Plato’s Curriculum and the Arts. By the time I was 18, I had composed 2 operas and a musical and I had written my first book.
My uncles were both Philosophers and they debated kindly with me for nearly 7 years about everything, In highschool, I formed a “debate” club and, for 3 years, I was able to also lead a group of 8 amateur philosophers through the discussions of life, the universe, and everything.
From 15 to 21, I gorged myself on Math, more Physics, Geometry, history… all the arts, Theater and Stage and ballet. I learned as if learning would save me. I believed it would. I believe it did.
I decided that College would not be a wise financial decision for me. I would have just studied in Philosophy, Psychology, and Ancient Greek as well as Linguistics (NOT profitable job choices), and I felt I would have walked away with a substantial amount of debt and NO usable education to show for it. Also, after studying the Modern Educational Systems in comparison to Alexandria, I felt they were significantly insufficient.
At 18, I decided to just continue reading The Great Books and applying my Philosophical Comprehension to them, which I had started reading at 15. It is said that reading The Great Books was equivalent to a Master Degree in Liberal Arts. This is a gross understatement.
Sometime between 15 and 16 years old, I noticed a pattern in stories and in the subjects of study, and in all the mythologies and religion. Also, in history. I noticed that that same pattern was repeated and buried in every story book, fiction and nonfiction. I became obsessed with that pattern. Today, I call it “The Story Code.” I tracked “The Story Code” through all of history. I read The Great Books and found it over and over again. I used Mathematics to define the Common Denominators within “The Story Code” and, over the next three decades, the pattern would take form as my work and understanding of it shaped it.
At 21, my trauma was so severe that I, desperate for a sanctuary from abuse, ended up married and pregnant within 3 months after 9/11. I had quit music at this time. It was too painful to feel music.
In 2002, when I was pregnant with my oldest, I was worried about being a mother with my Mental Health so I turned to Doctor Phil and used his Psychology to study human behavior. I also read a number of books on parenting to try and figure it out… and I realized that no one really had the answer. No one could agree on “the right way,” which is Math for “no one had a fucking clue.” I became aware of a lot. I became obsessed with learning as much as I could about Psychology and so studied the shows Cops and America’s Most Wanted to apply what I had learned to those situations.
My health was declining fast.
In 2006, during my 3rd Pregnancy, I started writing. I also came to learn how much writing helped with my Mental Health. So, to ease my mental pain, I poured myself into writing, language, and linguistics. Again, I found “The Story Code.” My books allowed me to learn to study everything. I remembered how much I loved to study. I dove deep into metallurgy, Norway, Celtic, and Irish Studies, Celtic and Norwegian Mythology, everything… I studied everything. Again, in every single study, I found “The Story Code.”
I wrote my books from 2006 to 2015. Within that time, I had started to write out “The Story Code” in detail. My books, Dolor and Shadow and Fire and Lies, is actually a story about how “The Story Code” came to exist in all the Stories. And they will reveal the Story Code in story.
In 2015, after writing Broken… I couldn’t deny how much I needed help. My writing was paused while I gave my full attention to my mental health.
By then, “The Story Code” was shelved and I poured all of my attention into therapy.
I knew how little we know about Mental Health, and I had the skills to articulate my journey and comprehension of the Healing like no one else, so I documented the entire journey from 2015 to the present. In book, blog, and podcast form, I documented my ENTIRE healing journey, tracking the steps and patterns. And what I discovered was that “The Story Code” WAS the Healing Pattern.
After 3 years, I realized that Traditional Therapy was making me worse. So I started to build my own healing program using “The Story Code” and, almost immediately, I saw improvement. 2 years later in 2020, my therapist told me that I had crammed 20 years of therapy into 5.
But my healing had “unlocked” a part of me that I couldn’t contain.
I wanted to adventure. I wanted to sexually explore. I wanted to open the marriage. I wanted to travel. I wanted to “go find me.” My husband wanted his children. Covid happened and my marriage fell apart. And in 2020, I came to New York City, toggling my time between New York City and Upstate.
I was looking for something. I was chasing things. I found what I was looking for.
Finding you was like an oasis. It was the first “break” and respite I had ever had in my life. And… I was so happy with you that I was *done* with my Journey, “The Story Code,” and my Studies. I was happy to never study again. Never doing anything else ever again. And that was not at all okay. I had too much work still to do.
You felt like “My Final Destination.” And, had you not kicked me in the ass as you did, I would not have continued my Journey with “The Story Code” or with my writing, or with my Healing. And that was the problem. I needed to finish what I had started, and I was too comfortable with you. I think you were supposed to give me a place to rest “before the last final big push.” And you did. I think you were supposed to give me reason to keep going. And you did. I think you were supposed to give me the incentive and the purpose to keep going. And you did.
And I abused the oasis and dug my nails into the ground and REFUSED to leave.
I didn’t want to “go back to the grind.” I had been there since 1992… I didn’t want to return to my pursuit of “The Story Code” or my Healing Journey or my writing. I wanted to wallow in the glory of you.
I was a fucking idiot. Or maybe… I was just a very hurt, very tired person who was exhausted with the Fight I had to win.
In our last few months of living together, we had built The Healing Garden… I needed to use The Garden to store all that I knew about “The Story Code” and how to teach it to others so they could heal.
During my Healing, I realized that this wasn’t healing. It was a Remembering.
I realized that I was looking for a “Point of Origin” so I could triangulate my Identity in Story.
I think I just slipped back into Abstratic. Sorry. I am going to leave that sentence in here for me. I need that sentence.
I realized that “The Healing Journey” was all about Understanding the Self. And the Answers I needed to heal were in “The Story Code.”
I realized that “The Story Code” was the Answer to Healing as well as “The Walkthrough and Instruction Manual” to The Healing Journey. I figured out all of this in 2022, when we built The Healing Garden. But I couldn’t explain any of this to you.
So I solved a portion of “The Story Code” last year, April 2023, and it fixed my mind. I remembered some things. And I was able to communicate a little better.
I solved more and more of “The Story Code.” I remembered more. I communicated better and better… and, by December 2023, I solved another massive chunk of it, and fixed the rest of my mind. And then I was able to communicate a lot better.
Between April and December, I healed so much that I remembered everything from my past including ALL OF MY STUDIES AND EVERYTHING I HAD EVER READ. It was a gradual remembering, but, by January 2024, all of my Educational Studies had returned to me, and I realized just how MUCH I had learned. I remembered and realized exactly WHAT it is I had learned. I remembered so much and, with it, I gained the ability to communicate even more.
And Remembering and Communicating… understanding allowed me to solve MORE of “The Story Code.” Which allowed me to remember more and to communicate more.
And in January and February, I solved more of “The Story Code,” and MORE of my Memory unlocked.
In March, last month, I solved more of “The Story Code.” And again, I understood more.
And yesterday, 20 April 2024, in Washington Square Park, I broke the Code. I solved it. All of it. And I remembered EVERYTHING. I broke the Code that I had been working on since 1992. Love of my Life, I solved it. 32 YEARS… I have been working on this code. And yesterday, I solved it.
The code revealed a riddle, which I was able to solve IMMEDIATELY. And the riddle contained “the answer” to a single Question. The Ultimate Question. Which I found in “The Story Code.”
And I wish to explain this to you…
“The Story Code” is a puzzle that every advanced Philosopher eventually finds. They try to solve it, but it is unknown and without a name. Whoever solves it, gets to name it. And it is “Unspoken” among Philosophers. And no one has ever been able to solve it before. We all just kept finding clues and passing them on in our books and stories. And only the Philosophers catch on. “The Story Code” shows up through all of our History. It is “The Greatest Puzzle-Game” ever played.
Most people miss it. Every Great Book contains it. Some Educators “sense” its presence in their Intuition.
“The Story Code” is a riddle that spans more than 2,000 years and was started by Pythagoras, but I think it is much older… I’ve been tracking it through History since 1995, and I believe I located its source just last week. King Solomon was the first to have it.
Every great Thinker in the world contributes to this riddle, passing it down from Philosopher to Philosopher. And every one of us locates another clue and compiles what we have into a story, adding to it… “The Story Code” is so long of a riddle and so complex that it took over 2,000 years to build and over 1,000 Intellects to solve. DaVinci contributed to it. Pythagoras, Plato, Ayn Rand, Shakespeare, Arthur C. Clarke, and Lewis Carol, Christ, Douglas Adams, and Jules Verne… we all added our pieces to it.
And I solved it! Yesterday, I broke the code! But you have to know the Ultimate Question in order to solve it, which was buried in the “The Story Code” and only revealed upon breaking the Code! And the Riddle, when solved, contains the Question, the next two Clues to the puzzle, and the Answer.
And you know you “got it right” when you know its Name. “The Story Code” reveals its name to the Philosopher who solves it. It’s “The God Code.” It’s the Solution to Tesla’s 3-6-9 Method. Tesla has also contributed his clues to the Puzzle! Everyone was playing this game! All of us! And everyone WILL play it! Everyone has to solve it for themselves! And that is The Healing Journey!
Intellect and Philosophers couldn’t speak of “The Story Code” because none of us had solved it yet to speak its Name.
So this whole time… Since you’ve met me, this is what I was doing. But I couldn’t tell you about it. None of us could because we couldn’t understand what we were solving for…
So I’m done with this now. And now… I just tell the stories. I just… tell the stories. But now I can. And my work is done. I’m going to plug it into the Garden and get it out there to people. I’m going to automate my websites and talk to more people and just… relax.
I am going to tell my Story. I am going to tell all the Stories.
Triadic Healing is the Story Code, in step-by-step instructions.
“The Story Code” is the “12 Stages of Forgiveness and The Path to Remembering.” It is “The Healing Formula.”
I am going to turn Triadic Healing into a Game for people who love to play games and solve riddles and puzzles.
I’m exhausted and I’m… I have a great peace in me now. And the nagging feeling of “Not Remembering” is all gone… My Education Journey is over. Now, I can just learn to… Learn…
If you want to play “The Puzzle-Game,” go here to learn more and get the first Clue.